Ali & Her: birminghamuk

, by Ali and Her

Acceptance

Hi everyone,

I am currently on summer holidays and really enjoying time out from blogging and work in general. I can't remember the last time I felt so relaxed and destressed. I recently got back from a holiday to Ibiza for my 30th Birthday which you may have seen on my Instagram (there is a stories highlight on my profile if you want to catch up) and it was my first holiday away from the kids, it has been over 5 years since I've been on holiday without them. They say travelling is good for the soul and this trip really was. I had time to myself and time to think without being interrupted. My thoughts were allowed to wander, to work themselves out, to understand. And this is how I have come to this post today.

I came to the realisation that the last decade had been quite a crazy one. I almost felt like I had lived a lifetime in 10 years, graduating, getting engaged and married, having my first baby, buying my first house, having my second baby, buying my second house. I realised I had been doing a lot of chasing, trying to reach goals, always wanting more, always trying to achieve more. But now it is finally time to accept. Accept what I have, what I have achieved and to be satisfied with it.

Acceptance is so important, just being able to go yes I am where I am and that is ok can change everything. I think social media makes it very hard to accept our lives. We are constantly watching people with lives that are so much more luxurious than ours, that it sometimes becomes a bit of a normality. It can be a good thing as it makes us ambitious, working harder to earn a bit more money to buy that designer handbag, or in my case coffee table. I'm obsessed with home interiors at the moment, especially since I moved house. My Pinterest account is full of ideas. But anyway, it can also be a bad thing as sometimes some of these ambitions might be unrealistic which can in turn make us unhappy with what we are unable to achieve. Accepting where I am and not knowing what the future holds feels good for once.

I've learnt to accept people change. I am at a different place now with what I want. Things that made me happy a few years ago, no longer mean anything to me, relationships I had, no longer mean anything to me. Accept not everyone is going to be genuine and on your side. One thing I have learnt is it is important to make and break relationships, especially toxic ones, or even ones with people who just don't do anything for you. Relationships are all about give and take so don't be afraid to end relationships where it is all take.

Relationships take so much more work when you get older. Life gets busy, you need to make more time to see those family and friends who are important to you, I lost two friends last year one very suddenly and the other to a long term illness, but it taught me to really value those people who mean something to me and make time for those relationships. It's so easy when we are younger to see your friends and family all the time. But in the real world relationships become so much harder. So if you are in my life at the moment, it's because I genuinely value you and love you.

I have honestly learnt to accept myself, love myself and my flaws. I don't care as much for my appearance anymore, I'm so much more interested in being a good role model for my girls. Showing them it's ok to be completely natural and still own it and be confident. Don't get me wrong, I still love to get my glam on as you can tell from my Instagram, but it just doesn't matter as much anymore. I think finally at the age of 30 I am learning to love my natural curls, although it is always a love hate relationship as they have a split personality.

Accepting yourself and loving yourself is really hard but essential for happiness and maybe with age mentality changes a little. Accept not everyone will like you, I care less about what others think about me now and more about what I think about myself. People will always judge and there is no point putting energy into things you can't control. Since I have started thinking a little more selfishly for myself and my family, I have genuinely become happier.

I have also accepted not everything has to go to plan as there is a bigger plan and bigger picture. So I go with the flow a little more and have learnt to be a little more spontaneous. I have got so much more I want to achieve in life, charity work, write a book, start my own business, maybe more kids? Ahhhhhh. I said MAYBE. But what I know is I have achieved so much already. By the age of 30 I am married, have two babies and have bought my second home and have my shit together - kind of. But for once I am owning it. I am not chasing anything. I have everything I need, I am grateful and I accept it. Thank God.

Amina xx

6 Comments

, by Ali and Her

Biore Watery essence

Holiday Essentials: SPF Special!

Hi everyone,

This week I have got a bigger smile then usual spread across my face as I am going on holiday! For my 30th Birthday my lovely family have bought me a holiday to Ibiza with my sisters (and without the babies eek!). I am so excited to get this party started. I mean it's not even my birthday month yet but the festivities have definitely begun. Going on holiday can be really stressful and there always seems to be something I forget, however one of the most essential things for holiday, especially if you are going somewhere hot, is your Sun Protection Factor or SPF as we like to call it. A good sun cream will have a high rating for both of the the sun's UVA (ultraviolet A) and UVB (ultraviolet B) rays. These are responsible for premature skin ageing, skin cancer and damage to the eyes, which no one wants. I have collated a few products I love to use to guarantee protection and popped them into a post for you so that is one thing off your to do list!

1. Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Essence SPF 50+ (£9.48 30ml)

This is the most lightweight high coverage SPF I have ever tried. I can't take credit for finding it as it was recommended to me by both Fashionicide and Svphie. It seriously hasn't disappointed and literally melts into the skin. I can't believe how there is no resonance of any product left on your skin. That horrible greasy feeling is but a distant memory of long ago and I think more and more brands are striving to achieve this non sticky texture. I tend to use this solely on my face as I do not want to add any grease to an already greasy situation and from a price point it is quite pricey for the amount of product you are getting. So I justify it by using it solely on the face. It just fits in perfectly as the last step of my skincare routine. This has become something I apply daily, rain or shine.

2. Nivea Sun Protect & Moisture Moisturising Sun Spray SPF 50+ (£6, 200ml)

Now as SPF goes, this is on the total opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to greasiness. It is very heavy and thick in consistency but light enough to be able to be 'sprayed' on. Technically this doesn't exactly spray for me but kind of squirts out into little puddles. I find it a better way of applying rather than squeezing into my hands. It is just a way of spreading the cream out really. However even though this is on the heavy side, I use this all over my body and on my children. Price wise it is pretty cost effective and I don't mind my body being greasy as much. I also prefer the consistency on my kids as it makes me feel like they are actually protected as I can visually see the product. This is not for everyone, but it does the job. It is also water - resistant so perfect for the pool.

3. Garnier Ambre Solaire UV Water SPF 30 (£8, 150ml)

This beauty of a product is perfect for topping up your SPF, maybe when you are out and about or lounging by the pool. It is transparent in colour and does actually spray out of the bottle as it is very thin in consistency. It feels quite hydrating and this could be due to the fact it contains Aloe Vera Water. Once again you are not left with any residue but more of a velvety feel just as the bottle suggests. Unfortunately it doesn't come in a SPF 50, however I think it is ideal for when I have had my Nivea Sun on for a while and it may be starting to wear away and I just want to top up for that extra protection. Once again it is water-resistant and protects you from UVA and UVB so therefore protects against short term and long term effects of the sun.

4. The Body Shop Vitamin E Lip Balm SPF15 (£5.50)

I bought this a few weeks ago and I have been wearing it everyday. I know I definitely do not think about lips when it comes to sun protection but recently I have noticed my lips have been getting slightly darker and I put it down to the month long drought that we are going through. I have never experienced this type of heat before in the UK and for so long, so this is me taking my skincare to the next level. SPF for lips is essential now!

5. Polaroid PLD6031/S Matte Havana N9P 49mm Polarised Sunglasses (£39)*

Once again sun protection doesn't just stop at the skin. UV can be harmful to the eyes so wearing sunglasses in the sun is very important. Some people mistake them for a simple fashion accessory but they are so much more than that for me. Too much sunlight can cause me severe migraines so I always make sure if it is really bright outside I have my sunnies on, especially when driving. These Polaroid sunglasses have 100% UV protection and are also polarised meaning they reduce glare, so sharpen your vision in intense sunlight. The Sunglasses Shop have such a great range of sunglasses all with great protection, in a variety of styles to suit everyone. They even include measurements in the description to make it easier for you to select a style to suit yourself.

So this is what I am using and I hope you find this post helpful. Be sure to keep protected while the lovely weather lasts. Please let me know any other SPF's you would recommend in the comments below.

Amina xx

*PR Sample. All opinions are my own.