Having a baby is one of the most amazing things in the world. Extending your family is beautiful and will completely change the way you live your life. Yet while it is magical, it is also a period of your life when you can feel a bit overwhelmed. You can go from feeling like yourself to being completely consumed by another little human being. Instead of being “you” then you turn into being a Mum and you can feel a bit like you have lost your identity. There is a transition period that needs to happen especially if it is your first time. If you find yourself in a rut and not feeling how you used to, there are some things you can try straight away. Here we take a look at some ways to feel like yourself after having a baby.

Make some time for a pamper day

After going through childbirth and having your new baby, it can be difficult to find five minutes to really relax. Which is where a pamper day can come in. Find a babysitter or leave your other half to look after your baby, grab a friend or head to a local spa on your own. When you are here, book in for a massage and get rid of any tension in your back and shoulders. You can also just take time to swim, relax in a spa or hot tub and read a book away from the distractions of your baby back home. It can really help to reset your mental health. But also just having time alone, to just be, is so important as taking care of a baby is a 24/7 type of job. Relaxing your mind and giving your self a rest will help to make sure you are the best version of yourself when you're with baby.

Take care of yourself

As well as something like a trip to the spa, you should take care of yourself through the little day to day things. This involves trying to have a skincare routine, moisturising with things such as CBD face cream can have relaxing effects (may not be suitable if breastfeeding) and having leisurely baths will give you the self care and relaxation you need. Having pockets of time throughout the day to do things for yourself is so important. Wash your clothes in nice smelling detergent, make yourself a tea and if you have time stretch it to a haircut and manicure. These are all small pamper things that might not seem like it, but they will make a big difference to the way that you feel. Making sure you stick to some of your past routines will help you find a little bit of yourself again.

Arrange some time with friends

Having time with your baby and your husband is all well and good, but sometimes you just need to go out and rediscover the old you. Speak to your best friends and arrange a time that you can spend with them, maybe go out to eat some delicious food or ask them to come over. Not having to worry constantly about baby or even having your friends over while baby is there will help to manage expectations of the new chapter you are about to begin with your friends too. You will feel more free and like yourself and you will also start to see how baby and your new role of motherhood is going to fit into your old relationships.

These are just a few ways that you can help feel like yourself after having a baby. It’s important that you do what you can in order to not lose your identity and remember that while your role is now a Mum, you are still “you” as well. Just doing a few little things for yourself can really help you to feel more like yourself and improve your mental wellbeing. It can be easy to feel 'mum guilt' when you are rediscovering the old you, however it's so important to remember that a happy mum makes a happy baby. What are some things you have done in the past to help after you’ve had a baby? Let us know in the comments below.

Amina xx

Image source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/mother-holding-her-baby-3270224/

Prepare as much as you can.

It’s virtually impossible to ever be 100% ready for a new arrival, but preparing in advance can be hugely beneficial. Taking practical steps like making sure you have a hospital bag packed and ready and you have all the essentials you need to bring your new baby home can help to minimise stress and make you feel calmer and more relaxed after the birth. Get your bedroom and the nursery ready, have family members on standby if you have pets that need looking after and take some time to rest and recharge your batteries. It's important to note however that no matter how much you plan or prepare, things may not always go as expected so be ready to adapt.

Understand that nobody is perfect.

Perhaps the most important lesson to learn when you have a newborn is that nobody’s experience is perfect. Social media and Hollywood films can make life as a family with a tiny bundle look like utter bliss when in reality, it’s a hugely emotional time for everyone involved. There are likely to be highs and lows and the early days of sleep deprivation and adjusting to parenthood can be something of a roller coaster ride. Every parent goes through the same struggles. Even if it seems as though others are sailing through with no metaphorical icebergs to contend with, know that you’re not alone if you have a bad day or you’re so exhausted that you can barely function. Talking to your partner or friend openly can really help if you're struggling and may open you eyes to how amazing you are actually coping. Your mind can play tricks on you, this paired with hormones and being a new mum can really leave you feeling down. But just know you are amazing.

Don’t hesitate to ask for help.

Taking care of a baby is hard work and there is absolutely no shame in asking for help or calling in favours from friends and family. Don’t hesitate to ask for help or accept offers if your mum and dad are keen to sort the washing or clean the house, or you have friends and siblings queuing up to look after the baby while you grab a shower or have a nap. Use your support system to lighten the load. This is beneficial for you and it’s also a great way to encourage bonding between members of your family and close friends and your new addition. People can often want to at like superman and show they don't need help but this is the one time in your life where you don't need to act strong. Take all the help you can get.

Ask for expert advice if you’re worried.

Taking responsibility for a newborn can be incredibly daunting, especially if you’re worried that something is wrong. If you are concerned about your health, or your baby has started crying more than usual, or they seem unsettled or won’t feed, ask for advice. There are simple solutions you can try like colic tea for tummy troubles and adjusting breastfeeding positions for more comfortable, productive feeds, but in some cases, you may need additional help or treatment. It’s always best to get checked out or consult a midwife or your GP if you are worried. No matter how small the concern it always better to be safe than sorry.

Rest as much as you can.

Almost every parent will regale tales of sleepless nights when they talk about the first few weeks or months with their baby. As a new mum, it’s important to be prepared for sleep deprivation and disrupted nights and to rest as much as possible when you get the chance. Try to nap while your baby sleeps, ask others to help out so that you can rest in the knowledge that your baby is safe and don’t try to do too much too soon. Take it steady and let yourself recover from the birth mentally and physically. Be prepared to completely change your routine to suit the baby's.

Try to avoid putting pressure on yourself

Many of us approach parenthood with a rose-tinted vision, which makes us put pressure on ourselves and our partners. We have a perception, and if life doesn’t live up to that ideal, we can get frustrated and upset. Try to avoid putting pressure on yourself when you have a baby. Give yourself time to adjust, be kind to yourself, recognise that you can only do your best and go with the flow. Some people have amazingly positive experiences during the first few weeks, while others really struggle. Everyone is different. If you are finding it tough, try to identify and avoid triggers. You may want to stay off social media or minimise social contact for a while if seeing people makes you anxious or going on social apps makes you feel like you’re failing. You can only do your best and if you need help, advice or support, there are people there to make life easier. 

Picture from https://www.pexels.com/photo/parents-looking-at-their-baby-3584088/

The early days as a new mum can be confusing, daunting, nerve-racking and amazing all at once. If you are expecting, or you’ve recently given birth, hopefully, this guide will help you navigate your way.

After all, babies demand every bit of your attention, and they’ll continue to do so for at least the next 16 years. You’re already thinking of all the trouble they might get into, and how many mistakes they might make along the way. You’re thinking about how they’ll get on at nursery, even though it’s still a long way off, and ultimately, you’re feeling equal parts worry and excitement for being a new parent. 

Surprisingly, that’s a good position to be in. It means you’re getting ready to bring the baby home, and to provide as much love as possible during the first year of their life. But aside from that, you’ve also got the chance to double check that you’re truly ready for baby to arrive. So, with that in mind, here are the last minute checks you’ll benefit from doing right now. 

Pexels Image - CC0 Licence

Make Sure The Nursery is in Order

If you want your little one to have their own room, now’s the moment to go through and ensure the room is up to standard. Make sure it’s been baby proofed, and there’s no way your child could get hurt in any way when they’re in there. Start with the floor and work your way up. Could baby stick their fingers in anything? Is there anything they could try chewing on? Could they even just pull on something in trying to make their way around and end up pulling something down on top of them? These are all considerations to think about from the beginning, nevermind waiting until baby can crawl and/or walk! 

Of course, you’re likely to have your baby sleeping in with you for a little while (usually the first 6 months), and it’s good to have an add-on mattress for your own bed as an option. However, one day they’ll have to upgrade to the nursery, and you’ll thank yourself for being this proactive right now. Start as you mean to go on! 

Double Check Your Shopping Checklist

Everyone who’s about to be a new parent has a shopping checklist that’s at least the length of your arm! And when you or your partner feel like you’re about to drop, it’s time to go back through the list and see if there’s anything you’ve missed. Now could be your last chance to make sure you’ve got it in ‘the back’ and that it’s ready to use when your baby needs it. 

Similarly, if you had a baby shower a couple of months ago, now’s also a good time to check your registry again and see what’s still left on it. If any of your friends and/or family didn’t attend or didn’t get you anything, now could be your moment to get in touch and ask if they’re in a position to help out. 

After all, maybe they could invest in Bespoke Baby Gifts for you, especially if they’re about to be a grandparent and want to make the experience special? But above all else, make sure any essential items, like a breast pump or a bottle warmer have been bought and are ready to use when the moment suddenly arrives!

Prepare the Car Correctly

You’re going to need to transport your baby to and fro every now and then, so you’re going to want to fit the car out correctly right now as well. Of course, you need to start with the car seat and ensure it fits snugly and securely, but your hard work doesn’t end there. You’re also going to want to keep in mind the general state of the car, and how long you can drive for with a baby on board. 

For example, you shouldn’t look to go any longer than 20 to 30 minutes with a baby in tow, thanks to just how uncomfortable baby can become when they’re sat in a car seat for too long. Similarly, always take your baby out with you when you stop, even if you’re just dashing out for a couple of minutes. 

Some parents like to invest in another mirror to attach to the headrest of the seat the baby is strapped into. In doing so, you won't have to turn around and take your eyes off the road in order to check on your baby. You’ll be able to see their face and what they’re up to whenever you do the standard check of your car mirrors, and eliminate most of the worry you feel on bumpy drives! 

Think About Making Your Own Birthing Plan

A birthing plan is what you put together when you decide what kind of birth you want to have. No matter what you see on TV or in films or hear about in the media, you’re the one in control when you’re giving birth, and it’s up to you how events will proceed. Not everyone takes time to put one together, and you can always walk through the possibility with a midwife first, but it’s good to get down in writing what you’d like to happen in an ideal world. 

And of course, there’s always a chance the birth will deviate from the birthing plan you put together. In knowing this, it’s a good idea to be flexible about what you’d be OK with happening during your birth. For example, your water birth plans may go out of the window if you suddenly go into labour when you’re out at the shops - try to have a ‘go with the flow’ attitude on time and place, but keep the little details (if skin to skin is a priority, will you attempt breastfeeding or prefer bottle, how you would like the lighting etc) set in stone. 

Thinking About a Name

Maybe you’ve already thought of one and both you and your partner love it? Maybe you’re still choosing between two or three you quite like? Maybe you have absolutely no clue what to name your baby, and you’re waiting until you meet your little one face to face to decide? No matter how you’re going about choosing a name for your child, make sure both you and your partner agree on the fundamentals. 

For example, are any names out of the picture altogether? Do either of you want the child to have a middle name? Will the baby end up with both of your surnames? Get these questions decided on right now for less hassle later on, especially if there are push relatives on either side of the equation! What you name your baby is up to you, and you need to know you’re standing firm in your decision. 

If your baby is about to make its way into the world, make sure you’re at a place (both physically and mentally) where you feel at peace with what’s going on. Stress is no good for you right now, and you want to have as pain-free a birthing process as possible, so get considerations like those above well out of the way. Bringing a baby home after the ordeal you’ve been through deserves to be a calm and collected time, so putting in effort now will make sure it is a smooth process!

Amina xx